


invisible kite string

by mardia



Category: Black Swan (2010)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-25
Updated: 2011-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-28 02:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/302622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mardia/pseuds/mardia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily knew a girl like Nina once, in San Francisco. (Lily/OFC, implied Lily/Nina.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	invisible kite string

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosedamask](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosedamask/gifts).



Lily knew a girl like Nina once, in San Francisco. The way Nina dances, the tension in her face, the way her wide eyes dart about the room—it all brings back memories of Cassandra back in San Francisco, before it went to hell.

Lily would like to think that she reaches out to Nina because she’s bored, and because Nina can’t be as tightly wound as she appears, but Lily knows that’s not it.

It’s because when Nina dances, that clockwork precision reminds Lily of Cassandra’s brown arms, spread out wide against the stark white of the studio walls. And because when Nina flinches at every cutting criticism Thomas sends her way, all Lily can think of is going to the company and hearing the news about Cassandra, and the handful of pills she’d taken after being dropped for the lead role.

So when Lily looks at Nina, she always sees the ghost of a girl that Lily once knew.

*

Nina makes Lily feel like the Pied Piper, to be honest. All Lily needs is the flute, and she could lead Nina along wherever she wanted to go. If only it were that easy.

Honestly, Lily’s not even sure, sometimes, why she’s making this much effort, why she tracks Nina down to the apartment she shares with that creepy mother of hers. And then Lily thinks of Cassandra, of watching Cassandra dance, and she remembers again.

Besides, Lily thinks if she could just once, see Nina really let go, just really _lose it_ —it would be amazing to witness.

And for a while that night, when Nina gulps down that drink, when she comes out to the club, it _is_ amazing, it’s such a fucking rush to witness this, be a part of it. Lily’s laughing for what feels like half the night, giddy, punch-drunk. For a second, she thinks of Cassandra’s full mouth, slick with lip gloss against hers—

But it’s just Nina in front of her, her hair gone wild, her face flushed, and Lily laughs again and pulls her a little bit closer, letting the beat of the music run through them both.

*

But things go to shit, much worse than Lily could have ever predicted. Lily has no idea what’s going on with Nina, can’t get a grip on it, and meanwhile there’s Thomas, there’s the ballet, and Lily wants to help Nina with whatever’s going on, sure, but she’s also got her own career to think about, for fuck’s sake.

So it gets weird there, for a while, and Lily’s sorry for that, but she doesn’t know what else she could have done.

Of course, she doesn’t know what more she could have done for Cassandra, either.

*

Lily’s the first to spot the blood. The stage is filled with thunderous applause, and it’s not enough to drown out Lily’s shocked sobs.

And even through Lily’s sobs, even through the audience clapping, shouting Nina’s name, it’s all still not loud enough to block out Nina’s soft little whisper to Thomas, and once Lily hears it, she gasps, and then starts crying harder.

*

She visits Nina later, in the hospital. Lily’s not sure whether it’s her place to go, but something about the way Nina’s memory, her entire existence has been erased from the company in the wake of—the incident, it makes her furious, and determined to go see Nina for herself.

Nina’s not supposed to have visitors, apparently, at least visitors that aren’t family, which Lily doesn’t get—seriously, is only being able to see that creepy mom of hers supposed to make Nina feel better or something? But Lily manages to sweet-talk her way past one of the cute male nurses, and she gets into Nina’s hospital room.

Lily’s not sure what she’s expecting when she goes inside, but it’s certainly not seeing Nina awake in her bed, the TV on and set to some game show.

They stare at each other, Nina’s dark eyes wide and stark in her pale, pinched face. Lily has no clue what to say, if she should apologize, ask how Nina’s doing—so she just stands there, tongue-tied.

“Nina?” Lily finally says, once the silence stretches past the point where her nerves can take it. “Nina, are you okay?”

Nina is still staring at her, mute. At last she says, in a weak whisper, “Come here, please.”

Well, all right then. Lily comes closer to the bed, bending over a little bit. This close up, Nina looks even paler, her skin almost blending into the white hospital sheets.

“How are you doing, Nina?” Lily asks, gently.

Nina just stares up at her with those wide, almost unearthly eyes. “Are you real?” Nina whispers at last.

Lily blinks, but answers gamely, “Of course I am.” She starts as Nina’s hand reaches out, her fingers gliding along Lily’s cheek, but doesn’t pull away.

“Okay,” Nina says softly, letting her hand drop. Weirdly, Lily almost feels a sense of loss.

But then Nina’s giving her a tiny little smile, and saying, “Thank you. For coming,” and somehow, Lily feels like she’s on steadier ground now, like she almost knows what she’s doing here.

“Yeah,” Lily says, smiling back. “Anytime.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Beth Orton's song, "Pieces of Sky".


End file.
